


Take Care of Him

by SexuallyMonsterous (Alli_Bialystock)



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 22:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5557580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alli_Bialystock/pseuds/SexuallyMonsterous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Erlich are both awake in the middle of the night. They get to talking about their families, their pasts, and most importantly, about Richard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Care of Him

“Oh, hey, what are you doing out here?”

Erlich cringed at Jared’s voice behind him. He’d assumed that when he’d gone out by the pool at four in the morning that he would be pretty safely alone. He was starting to wish he’d brought a bong with him – that would probably get Little Mister Perfect to leave – but all he had was his kimono and his thoughts. 

“I’m out here because it’s my fucking house,” Erlich snapped. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Jared sat down beside Erlich at the pool’s edge, dipping his long, slender legs into the water. _God,_ Erlich thought, _even his boxers are dorky._ Not that there was actually a huge difference, technically, between Jared’s houndstooth boxers and Erlich’s binary ones, but it made him feel better to pretend.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Jared explained, leaning back and looking up at the moon.

“Then take some Benadryl. Or Robitussin. Or Nyquil. Or pour all of them into a fucking pimp cup and chug it. We literally have all of those things right inside.”

“I’m sorry, I misspoke somewhat.” Jared lazily kicked his legs through the water. “I was having nightmares. Why are you still awake?”

Erlich tried to think of a decently shitty remark, but his tiredness was fogging his brain. “Same,” he finally grunted. “Nightmares.”

“Oh? Do you want to talk about them?”

“Not fucking likely, Casper.”

Jared just smiled benignly. “Okay, I understand. Talking about dreams makes people feel vulnerable.”

Erlich felt his face flush. “I don’t feel vulnerable. I’m never vulnerable. I just don’t see the point of it. Why?” he suddenly asked, defensively. “What are yours about?”

“My parents.”

“Oh.” Erlich stomach dropped. He usually didn’t feel too bad about being an asshole, but he could feel the guilt starting to worm its way in.

“Well, not really my parents,” Jared continued. “They’re there sometimes. I more mean my foster parents.”

Erlich frowned, finally turning to look at Jared. “You were a foster kid?”

“Yes. My mother passed when I was 6, I never met my father, and my uncle wasn’t a terribly effective guardian, so I went into foster care.”

“Shit.” Erlich felt like he’d kicked a puppy. For the first time, he questioned whether or not he had a decent reason for hating Jared, aside from the one he could hardly admit to himself. He hadn’t felt even half as guilty when he’d punched a kid in the face and threatened to murder his entire family. “Sorry, Jared. I didn’t know that.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” Jared said, and it sounded like he meant it. He was still smiling, watching the sky. “Many of the people I stayed with were very kind. I was very fortunate to have some of them in my life.”

Erlich idly began playing with a leaf, ripping off a small, papery point and rolling it between his fingers. “I never met my dad either,” he admitted.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but do you know why?”

And there was that annoying-ass tone that Jared always had, that fucking considerate, irritating fucking tone he used that constantly made Erlich feel like shit. He could never tell if Jared was making fun of him, goading him, or manipulating him, but he couldn’t make himself believe that he ever actually gave a shit. “Do you know why your dad left you?” he snapped.

“Well, he didn’t really leave me in the conventional sense,” Jared explained. “He was – still is, actually – in prison.”

Another pang of guilt. “Ah.”

“It’s for the best,” Jared said, and it sounded like he was trying to reassure Erlich, which only made the guilt worse. “He deserves to be in prison. By all accounts he was a very cruel person.”

“So why’d your mom marry him?”

“She didn’t.” The smile on Jared’s face slipped away. His voice seemed flat, unaccompanied by its regular buoyancy. “He was the physical education teacher at her high school. My mother was a junior.” 

“Jesus,” Erlich breathed, horrified. 

“The courts believed her, but her parents didn’t. They were a, frankly speaking, cult, and they disowned her for violating the cult’s rights. They tried to bring me in once, but fortunately that didn’t happen and everything was sorted out quickly. So my mother quit school and went to the Bronx and started working there. She did alright up until she developed a very aggressive form of brain cancer.” Jared’s voice lowered, almost as if he’d forgotten Erlich was there. “Doctors said it had been there for months, and that they could have found it if she’d come in earlier. But we didn’t have any health insurance. She died four months later.”

The warm wind ruffled the pool. Erlich saw the reflections of his and Jared’s legs begin to blur, side-by-side. 

“My mom didn’t know who my dad was,” Erlich said abruptly.

This seemed to shake Jared out of his reverie. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah. She was kind of like a groupie, but with everybody. She’d sleep with the band, the roadies, the fans…” Erlich shook his head. “One time she said my dad was Crosby, Stills, Nash, or Young, but I never believed her.”

“I imagine that was frustrating for you, growing up.”

“Not really. I’m pretty sure I’ve had more fathers than any other kid on earth,” Erlich smirked. “Some of them only lasted two days.”

“Did you like them?”

“A couple.” That was mostly a lie. All of his mother’s husbands had either been nonentities or assholes. “My mom seemed to like them, at least.”

Jared nodded. “That’s good, at least. It’s always best if you can get along with them.”

“Wouldn’t know much about that,” Erlich snorted. 

Jared frowned, but Erlich didn’t elaborate. It was the truth – none of his stepfathers had ever gotten along with him, some more than others. “I’m sorry,” Jared said, and there was that earnest tone again. “It can be difficult to live with people that aren’t fond of you.”

“I thought you said you liked your foster parents.”

“Many of them, yes. But not all of them. Some of them were cruel, or just neglectful. It’s never stopped surprising me that someone could forget that a child needs shoes to function in the world, but somehow, people manage.” Jared smiled bleakly. “I guess some people are just like that.”

Erlich swirled his legs through the water, watching the small whirlpool they created flare and fade. “That’s always been so fucked up to me,” Erlich muttered, emotions boiling over. He could feel a rant bubbling up, but couldn’t seem to suppress it in time. “Putting yourself in a position to take care of kids when you don’t want them. One of my stepdads locked me out of the house almost every single fucking night and made me sleep in the backyard, even during the winter. I was fucking _nine,_ it was cold as fuck, I didn’t do anything wrong, he just didn’t want me around so he and my mom could get high and fuck all night without me interrupting. I know my mom didn’t really give a shit about me, but how could anyone do that? I smacked a child across the face and I still can’t imagine doing some of the shit that those assholes did.”

“You smacked a child across the face?”

“Yeah. He made Richard cry.”

“Ah.” Jared thought for a moment. “Well, I guess that’s understandable, then.”

The two exchanged glances, then chuckled. Erlich looked up at the stars, regretting his outburst but glad that Jared was allowing it to pass without comment. 

“There’s something so… fragile about Richard, isn’t there?” Jared murmured. “He just seems so vulnerable.”

“Especially now, with all this Raviga bullshit.”

“Yes.” Jared sighed. “I’ve been worried about him. He’s brilliant and a lot stronger than people give him credit for, admittedly, but he doesn’t have the best coping mechanisms. Or the best ways to stand up for himself.”

“He has _no_ way of standing up for himself,” Erlich corrected. “I know sometimes he gets irritated with me for being so involved, but if I don’t, who knows what could happen to him? You should have seen him trying to neg those board members the one day. He’s a great guy, but being a great guy doesn’t always mean being a great leader.”

“That’s true. I would like to see him toughen up a bit, but I worry about him taking it too far. If he did that –“

“ – then he wouldn’t be Richard,” Erlich finished. 

“Exactly. I would miss that.”

“Me too.”

The two fell quiet, listening to the rustle of a light wind through the trees. Erlich was surprised that he was starting to feel comfortable again. Nightmares always put him on edge, but there was something nice about having someone around who understood without having to be told. The idea that someone was in his corner to any extent was nice, and rare. He had gotten very few victories over his stepfathers (especially not legally – too bad his mom and that fucker that pulled a knife on him more than once settled out of court), but knowing that someone else had been there too and also survived made him feel he had won, at least a little. 

“Do you mind if I ask you something rather personal?” Jared asked.

“It’s eight inches.”

“… What?”

“My dick. It’s eight inches.”

“Well, um, that wasn’t what I was going to ask,” Jared said slowly. “Congratulations, though.”

“Thanks. I’m pretty happy with it. What were you gonna say?”

With startling directness, Jared finally made eye contact with Erlich, his large blue eyes brightened and intensified by the moonlight. “How, exactly, do you feel about Richard?” 

Erlich could feel heat rising in his face. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do, Erlich.” Jared’s voice was firm. “I’ll admit it – I have feelings for him. Feelings that go beyond those between coworkers or friends. And I’m fairly certain you do too.”

“And what if I do?” Erlich asked coldly.

“Then I would say that I understand,” Jared replied. “But I would also say that I can’t pretend to know exactly what it is, or who it is, that Richard wants, but that I do want him to be happy. I would like to be the one to make him happy, but that just might not be in the cards. Maybe you’re the one that has to do that. Or maybe it’s neither of us.”

“And?”

Jared straightened up, his expression still serious and intense. It was the first time that Erlich really noticed his unnerving height. “I’m going to make you a promise. If ever Richard decides he would be happier with you than me, then I will accept that. I will accept whatever he says, whatever his feelings may be, as long as he is as happy as possible. But only if you promise me two things.”

“What?”

“That you’ll respect Richard’s wishes if he chooses me, and that you’ll put his happiness ahead of yours.”

Erlich’s teeth were clenched and his stomach was turning. “I don’t –“

“If you really care for him,” Jared continued, “I mean really love and appreciate and care for him like he deserves, you will want him to be happy. No matter what that means for you.”

Erlich swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. “What else do you want?”

“I want you to promise that if you do end up with Richard, you will treat him the way that he deserves. That you won’t hurt him or ignore him, and that you will always do everything in your power to care for him and protect him. I can accept Richard being with someone else, but only if I know that he will be truly and fully loved.”

Erlich tried not to blink or look away from Jared’s ice-blue stare. Whatever he said now, he realized he couldn’t take back. “Okay,” he finally said quietly, trying not to think about what he was tacitly admitting to. “But you need to do something for me.”

“Which is?”

It took an effort to keep his voice steady. Just thinking about it sent a pang through his chest. “You need to swear to me that you won’t take him away from me. If he ends up with you… I can’t say I’d be happy about it, but I couldn’t fucking stand it if he just left on me. I… I really need him, Jared. I just need him around.”

Jared smiled gently. “Of course. I would never do something like that. If it helps at all, I think Richard needs you too.”

“Yeah.” Erlich glanced down at the pool, blinking back his blurry vision and swallowing his gratitude. “No shit. Who else will beat up nine-year-olds for him?”

A soft rustle came from behind them, and both turned to see Richard walking towards them, looking haggard. “Hey,” he mumbled when he saw them. “Sorry, I didn’t think anyone would be out here.”

“It’s fine,” Jared said. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Um… I guess. Just kinda stressed. Had another nightmare about Pied Piper getting ruined and I can’t get back to sleep.”

Erlich and Jared exchanged looks. “Wanna hang out for a bit?” Erlich asked.

“Yeah.” Richard sank down between Jared and Erlich, slipping his feet into the warm pool. “Is that cool?”

“Of course.” Jared smiled encouragingly, then put a hand gently on Richard’s shoulder. “Everything’s going to be okay, Richard.”

“Yeah.” Erlich put a hand on Richard’s other shoulder, shooting Jared a quick smile. “We’re gonna make sure of it.”


End file.
